Customer Service

Purchasing Powell furniture, a customer service story:

I work as a systems administrator, and part of m job involves answering questions about computers. I generally like my job, but sometimes it gets on my nerves. When people ask me what I find so irritating, this is what I tell them:

Imagine that you are a salesperson for Ikea (substitute "furniture store" if you don't know what "Ikea" is). You get a phone call that goes like this.

Customer: I'd like to buy a kitchen table.

You: That's fine; we have many styles of kitchen tables, I'm sure you can find one you like.

C: I need one that's 3 feet by 5 feet and has a butcher block top.

Y: Yes, we have a table like that. You can pick it up today.

C: OK, how can I get it back to my house?

Y: Well, it comes disassembled, so you can just put it on a roof rack. We can loan you a roof rack if you don't have one.

C: But how do get there?

Y: We're just off exit 25 of the Turnpike. Where are you coming from?

C: Wait, wait, you're going way too fast for me. I have a Ford in my driveway, and the keys are in my hand. What do I do next?

And, whatever you say at this point, the response is always the same:

C: But all I want is a kitchen table! Why does it have to be so *COMPLICATED*!

--

I can imagine that this is about normal. One time when I was working at a tech support rep, I had someone buy our product. I had to tell them how to put the computer together.

Robots and Dinner

A man walked into a very high-tech restaurant in a fancy hotel. As he waited
to be seated, he noticed that the maitre d' was a robot. The robot clicked
to attention and said, "Sir, there is a one hour wait. I am programmed to
converse with you until a table is ready, If you please."Intrigued, the man
said, "OK." The robot clicked a couple more times and then asked, "Sir, what
is your IQ?"

The man answered, "Oh, about 164."

The robot then proceeded to discuss the theory of relativity, interstellar
space travel, the latest medical breakthroughs, etc. The man was most
impressed. The next day he returned, with his Best Diet Pills in hand, but thought he would try a different
tack.

The robot again asked, "What is your IQ, sir?" This time the man answered,
Oh, about 100".

So the robot started discussing NASCAR racing, the latest basketball scores,
and what to expect the Steelers to do this weekend.

The guy had to try it one more time. So the next day he returned.

Again the robot asked the question, "What is your IQ?"

This time the man drawled out, " Uh.....'bout 50."

The robot clicked, then leaned close and very slowly asked,

"A-r-e y-o-u-r p-e-o-p-l-e g-o-I-n-g t-o n-o-m-I-n-a-t-e
H-I-l-l-a-r-y?"

----
I really like this joke. Of course I am of the opinion that if Hil-BIl is nominated it will guarantee the Republicans a solid victory. There is a about .001% chance that hil-bil could be elected. Why? Her, negatives are to high.

Have a mirthful day.

Trial of the century

I was wondering what was the trial of the century in the 20th century. By all counts not including all the Diet Trial arguments, there is about 18 trials of the century.

Here is my list:

1906: The trial of Harry Thaw
1907: The trial of “Big Bill” Haywood
1921: The Sacco and Vanzetti trial
1921: The trial of "Fatty" Arbuckle
1924: The trial of Nathan Leopold & Richard Loeb
1925: The Scopes “Monkey” Trial
1931-37: The Scottsboro trials
1935: The Lindbergh baby kidnapping trial
1946: Nazi War Crimes Trial
1951: The trial of Ethel and Julius Rosenberg
1954/1966: The trials of Sam Sheppard (The Fugutive)
1967: The Mississippi Burning Trial
1969: The "Chicago Seven" Trial
1970: The trial of Charles Manson
1971: Roe v. Wade
1976: Patty Hearst
1992/1993: The Los Angeles Police Officers' “Rodney King beating” Trial
1995: The trial of O.J. Simpson
1999: The Clinton impeachment trial

I think that Roe v. Wade has the most lasting impact. Nothing for a media circus is better then OJ or Clinton.

Tyranny

First, I would like to say this is a lame and a bad joke. But it is not. Three stories in three days. First, the FBI is violating the Patriot Act and violating the privacy of people. We have to admit this is a total shock. Nay, I am stunned.

Second, the wonderful private paradise of Sweden is not so great after all. They have been spying on their own people's phone calls for ten years.

Third, the state of england is amazing. They are the most observed and watched country in the world. Now, they have ot give up all kinds of private info to obtain a passport. I do not think that China pays such close attention to their people. It looks like some Orlando Condos may be the only safe place left.

Food Jokes

I found some more bad jokes

DIET PUNS: Riddle/pun:
WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SKINNY PERSON AND A FAT PERSON?
Answer: THE SKINNY PERON IS VERY LEAN AND THE FAT PERSON IS VERY JELL-OUS.

Remember: NOTHING DENTURED, NOTHING GAINED.

Also for the punny: Some things are worth the WEIGHT. Ice cream is worth it.

How many Fat Burner does it take to lose a pound?
Let me light a match and find out.


Okay how about?

FOOD: YOU CAN'T WIN; YOU CAN'T LOSE.

IF YOU DON'T HAVE TASTE, IT GOES TO WASTE.

IF YOU HAVE TOO MUCH TASTE, IT GOES TO WAIST.

Well have a happy day.